The Groove 225 - Behind the Flex: What Collecting Art Is Really Like
Welcome to the 225th issue of The Groove.
I am Maria Brito, an art advisor, curator, and author based in New York City.
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BEHIND THE FLEX: WHAT COLLECTING ART IS REALLY LIKE
You’ve got good taste. You’ve got a little (or a lot) of coin. You’ve been to a few fairs, maybe even flirted with a gallerina. You buy art not just for the flex but because you actually care. Congratulations, you are officially an art collector.
But here’s the catch: no one tells you how hard it gets once you’re in.
Because collecting seriously is not just about writing checks and choosing the big blue painting. It’s a psychological rollercoaster with a side of existential dread. It’s emotional labor in high heels. It’s strategy, seduction, insecurity, and spreadsheets, all at once.
The thrill of discovery? Check.
The agony of being ghosted by a gallery? Check.
The mental gymnastics of trying to hang a 9-foot painting in a prewar apartment? Also, check.
Because here’s the thing no one tells you: collecting seriously is not for the emotionally fragile.
It’s a high-stakes, high-drama sport disguised as a leisure activity. And while it’s wildly rewarding, it’s also a little…unhinged.
If you’re a collector - new, seasoned, or art-curious - let me give it to you straight. Here’s what actually makes collecting hard…and why it’s still worth every neurotic minute:
1. You Will Be Ghosted by Galleries. Frequently
I got this 96-inch-wide Rashid Johnson “Surrender” painting for a client of mine less than two years ago. The challenge was getting it into a prewar apartment in New York City. I had to have special art handlers remove the frame and find a way to fold it from the stretcher bars so it could fit in the freight elevator. Nothing around that process was easy but it was so worth it once it was installed.
Yes, even if you’re rich. Yes, even if you’re charming. Yes, even if you bought something last year.
Sometimes you’ll inquire about a work and get complete radio silence. Other times, you’ll get a soft “We’re placing it with institutions.” Translation: “You’re not sufficiently important, sorry.”
Or worse: “We’re going with someone closer to the gallery.” Translation: The gallery owner’s dentist got it.
You start to feel like you’re auditioning for a relationship with people who pretend they’re too cool to care about your money. But you are not delusional. It’s actually happening.
2. The More You Know, The Harder It Gets
Here’s the cruel irony: the more educated you become, the harder it is to just buy what you love.
Once you’ve been in a few VIP previews, peeked behind the curtain, and learned how values are manufactured… you can’t unsee it.
Suddenly, you’re questioning your instincts: Do I really love this work, or am I falling for market buzz? Is this a meaningful acquisition, or just a flex? Is this a smart buy, or is it FOMO disguised as investment?
I’ve worked with clients who own more than 1,000 artworks and still second-guess themselves. The doubt never fully disappears. That’s why experienced guidance and a legit art advisor matter. (Shameless plug.)
3. Wall Space Becomes Existential
At first, hanging art is thrilling. By year three, it’s Tetris. By year ten, it’s a philosophical dilemma.
Collectors come to me with spreadsheets, floor plans, emotional attachments, and mild panic: Can I rotate my collection without feeling guilty? Do I store this or sell it? Will I hurt the artist’s feelings if I move this piece to the guest room?
Art doesn’t just take up space on your walls. It takes up space in your psyche. At some point, collecting becomes a logistical operation, and yes, there’s beauty in that too.
4. Everyone Has Opinions. Loud Ones
The moment people find out you collect, prepare for the flood: “That artist is SO overhyped.” “Why didn’t you buy XYZ before the prices went up?” “Oh, you still collect paintings?”
There’s always someone ready to tell you that you’re doing it wrong. And they usually don’t own anything except a KAWS x Uniqlo hoodie on top of taking a crash course via Instagram.
The art world is full of snobs pretending to be intellectuals. You’ll need a sharp filter and a thick skin.
5. You’ll Catch Feelings
Here’s the wildest part: you will fall in love with the work and with the story, sometimes with the artist, often with the thrill.
And that love will make you irrational. You’ll buy things you can’t afford. You’ll beg dealers for things you shouldn’t chase. You’ll hold onto a piece forever even when your advisor tells you it’s peaked.
Because it means something to you. That’s the curse and the beauty of collecting: it’s emotional.
And that emotion is what makes it real. Fun. Messy. Human.
6. And That’s Not Even The Hardest Part
It’s the vulnerability. It’s knowing that no matter how smart, strategic, or connected you are, the best collections aren’t built on perfection.
They’re built on passion. On mistakes. On risk. On falling headfirst into a piece that wrecks you. And honestly? That’s what makes it worth it.
You’re here, choosing art.
Choosing culture.
Choosing ideas.
Choosing beauty.
Choosing madness.
Respect.